Warning: musings on my sex life below...

Ty Syndrome

I have been giving some thought recently to drunk sex and its consequences and how this has built upon itself, in an almost structuration like way and made me think in ever expanding circles of consequence and decided to call this social phenomenon the Ty Syndrome. I was recently told a story about a boy who had sex with a girl in a bathroom in his house one rampant booze and drug filled evening and has ever since tried to hide the fact that he slept with her at all. I fear that he may soon start killing witnesses. Anyway, it reminds me of the silly choices we make when we are drunk and how vunerabilities come to the surface more easily at this time. I have learned not to regret the choices made when drunk, although I have a feeling that they are simply more deeply buried. I just realised that this may very well be a gendered viewpoint. If it is, then we pull whatever threads from these thoughts how we will. Anyway, my point is that sleeping with someone you do not or would not want to sleep with ordinarily is a means to an end, for whatever reason; be it physical or emotional or whatever.

The one night stand is in fact one of my many joys in life. Regardless of drunkness or not, these fleeting sexual moments can be illuminating. The choice is seldom rational, yet some choice is made. This brings me to the crux (thankfully not the crotch - again) of Ty and Ty Syndrome. Periphery of friends. (This means nothing - I just wanted to say it - if I could do footnotes in this post I would, but I cannot so I will fill it with brackets containing useless information). The Ty Syndrome is when you sleep with someone in your acquaintance circle and its effect means a disruption to your social circle. For example, the Ty Syndrome means that I have lost a group of party friends (you know them - those bunch of louts you invite to all the parties cos they do the dumb things and/or do penis tricks - ahhhh I love them - others may disagree). Sleeping with someone who is removed from your circle of acquaintances is a far better scenerio, as it means that you can kick them out of your bed, house, life, without a second thought. The awkwardness of post-coital communications can be lessened in this way. However, within the circle, the awkardness threatens not only your own morning /afternoon joy, but continues on into an infinity of repercussions socially, both within the large circle as well as the small circle. I have never been allowed to forget the indiscretion with Ty, or both indiscretions, or that another friend of mine did him before me in one of the greatest stories ever told (the Tent Story). However, the other men I have had the pleasure of being with (even it it wasn't) have all been people I have gladly never seen again (except that one guy - maybe two - who I wish wasn't such a player/porn king - I wouldn't mind seeing them again. Actually there was that other guy as well on that really hot night last summer). The point is that I did not have to see them again and did not - the social consequences did not exist.

ps. Ty is not a bad bloke really. He is lovely, in a loutish kind of way. I am using his name and the situation(s) I found myself in with him as a generic. Plus it makes me laugh about it. I was already laughing about it cos it is bizarre and absurd that I ended up with him twice in my life, in similar circumstances and both being events that were nothing special really - actually a complete waste of my time and ended up costing me socially.
pps. one of the ironies of the Ty situation is that I am not really that upset about the loss of social captial, but its passing is something that I gave some attention to.