And occasionally I know what it feels like. While I am busily being the person who waits for their partner to come home, excited cos they will get to see them again today, yet completely stressed cos I have an exam tomorrow, I have been reflecting on reflection. The two core fundamentals, as I see it, in Knowledge management is firstly, reflective practice, where knowing and understanding in action is crucial to moving forward, by looking at the past. This lesson of history is so not new it is ridiculous, but it this revelation shows the linkages in life, in learning and in self, as is what is destined to happen. The second core fundamental, and you will laugh at this one as well in its complete simplicity; relationships. Now I am stealing this a bit from one of my lectures, but the point is so clear and so absurdly right. And again with the linkages to LIFE, relationships are one of the most important things we have and have the ability to build and nurture and grow with. Relationships are about us and how we see ourselves through other people. Organisational relationships are still relationships with people.
And so this brings me to something that has been flitting around the edges of my brain for a while, but I have been sidebarring because I am trying to become a librarian dammit. Repetition of relationships and the value of reflection in the history of our own small, meaningless lives. Behaviour with one person can be repeated with another: I guess this is personality showing itself. Behaviour can be over time though. Think of the patterns of relationships, both sexual, loving, difficult, nasty, friendships, heart-breaking, heart-lifting. Our personalities dictate these as well. Our reactions and our comfort zone reminds us always what we like, who we like and how we achieve pleasure or happiness. We search for it. I know this is not new, but it brings me to the point of reflective practice, to know yourself, to understand your reactions so you can act instead of react. Does this or can this actually change anything about your personality?
A couple of things have happened to me recently that make me wonder about how we can ever possibly hope to know ourselves enough to stop reaction. I have come to realise that I have no capacity to gauge when I am stressed or emotional. On two occasions I have realised that I am feeling emotions that I do not understand and cannot express. Now I am not just talking about things like sadness or being tired - these are states of mind. I mean those deep impacted emotions that dictate how you behave and when you react blindly. This is difficult to explain and the incidents are too personal to tell the world about. Needless to say, the value of reflection and reflective practice is being undermined by these incidents.
Flynn, I miss you too. To answer your question about what is going on 4500kms away; well study and lots of shagging actually. Not enough to stop me from putting on weight though. My double chins have grown into triplicates and it is stressing me beyond compare. Before I left Perth to come to Melbourne I had put on weight and lost it soon after I arrived. And now, again, when I am in Perth, I put it back on. It is the sedintary, suburban, pig fucker life style here. I live in the hard core burbs and the only thing near me that is vaguely interesting is a fish and chip shop and a mechanic. I have to catch the bus everywhere, there is no walking down Glennferrie road, no Carlton Gardens and nothing but Knowledge Management and Information Access and sitting on my butt staring at this computer. HOWEVER, SPESHIE arrives on Saturday and hopefully I will get to do some exploring and hanging out. OH GOD I NEED HANGING OUT. I am going crazy also thinking about the Melbourne International Film Festival going on without me this year. Last year I only saw three films, but still, I love it and I need to be near it. I had hoped to come back in August, but it probably wont happen. I will however be back in November, for a wedding, not my own, so don't get too excited.
Love you all.
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2 comments:
i am at work at the mo so i must be brief, i do however have a computer with the net at home now so i will write you a proper email later.
i heard this from my IT friend at work and thought you might be interested.
a group of nerds drive around in cars with their laptops searching for wireless hot spots. once found they stop and hack into the network and do what ever they want to the computer. this is called wardriving
in citys you may find certain symbols chalked up on to walls, these represent open networks, easy hacked or closed networks. aparrently the symbols are based on old hobbo marks that represented shelter, food etc. this is called warchalking.
checkout http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/78/Warchalking.png/250px-Warchalking.png
to see the symbols
Did I tell you that while I was in Tasmania I stole internet from a BP service station while at my backpacker?
Someone I know, but shall remain nameless, but who is a nerd, but is not my boyfriend, tells me he steals net of businesses in the city all the time. A work mate, who is supremely nerdish, was raving about wardriving a few weeks back.
Personally I cannot think of anything more fun than driving around looking at an electronic symbol on a screen waiting for connection. WOO HOO.
I was reading that wardrivers have ethics and that accessing the net is enough and no one should change/move files/programs around etc in a network that has been found. Big fucking deal.
The hobo markings are interesting. Although I have an exam today, I will look at them. Why? Cos I am easily distracted. mmmm. lollies.
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