Incidentally

The State election was on Saturday. I voted a few days before in anticipation of working - see I can be organised. Anyway, it is interesting that my safe Labour seat of Melbourne might have a change to Greens. Its gonna come down to absent and pre-poll voting. I also enjoyed John Howard's comment that State elections mean nothing to Federal politics because they are fought on State issues. um, is taking control over IR with the new Federal IR laws and paving the way to the possibility of taking over more State controlled functions not a State issue that the Federal government has their hands all over?

Slackness indeed

I have been slack with posting. This may be due to my current multiple crisis hysteria indulgent situations. (no commas for YOU)

1. I am trying to pack up my life into as small a space as possible. This involves scrutiny of long term goals and achievements. Somehow, streamlining my life by culling the junk requires foresight, imagination and assessment with hard core consideration. It hurts, oh it hurts.
   
2. My mother, whom I have not seen since September 2005, will be landing on my soil of residence for the first time. She is crazy and old and terrifying. I have never had to invite her over for dinner, or fear her impulsive visit, or keep in intimate contact for six long years. And now I am inviting her to stay. This means sharing the bed, sharing the conversation and sharing the frustration, for three weeks. Sheesh.
3. I am going travelling and everytime I think of having to organise the itinery or pack my bag, I wonder why anyone every thought this was a fun thing to do.
   
4. I find out my results on Thursday. Please let me have learned something.
5. I had to work hideous long days at work this weekend and I have not worked a long day or even more than three days in a row for ages. Study days of 12-14 hours is different from standing on your feet all day and wiping tables, preparing food and trying not to yell at Kylie. And significantly different from having to deal with those bastions of evil: CUSTOMERS.
   
6. Organising forms and having to hand them for any reason is always a little stress inducing. I guess its the organising thing altogether. My reason for special stress is that they are forms for Centrelink. mmmm yes. So the potential that I might be and my forms might be considered less than acceptable in contemporary Australian society is highly likely and quite expected.
   
7. I am selling some stuff on eBay and although I knew it would come to me having to organise stuff to do with packing and postage and a trip to the post office, I am now complaining about it. However, this eBay thing is still good. I got stacks more money than I would have if I had of sold my books at a second hand bookshop. These were my essential keepers though - those books I thought I could not live without. They should be valuable dammit! The other part of the eBay saga is the inability of eBay to inform anyone that linking photos from Yahoo photos won't work. HOwever, they will work initially so you think they are alright and its not until they are selling for a few days and actually bid on that you realise and by that time it is too late to change the listing and so eBay thinks you can go to HELL cos their idea of customer care is to only allow emails and have everyone look at your issue and tell you that your links are invalid and then say thanks for using eBay without offering any actual advice. Anyway, I have nothing bad to say about eBay at all cos it is my fault as well and now I have learned something. Not that I will probably need this knowledge again.
   

I think that is it. I had a dream the other night that I was a superhero.

Sexpo was OK. I went with Spesh and Alfio and saw some haggard strippers and a very plastic, athletic, pole dancing squad. I got gel insoles for my shoes and although my feet hurt from working like a dog all weekend, they did not swell and stop me from walking properly which is the usual case. I saw a dick tricks performance which was not at all funny and I wasn't the one bending my penis around my wrist. Actually it pained me, for many reasons. I met a girl who worked at a stand and immediately had a crush on her. I also got a new toy. Sex toys are ok, but I am not as enthused as some of my toy owning friends. The one I got at Sexpo behaves like some kind of sci-fi pleasure machine. The mechanical nature of it makes me screw my face up in mirth.

Incidentally I was watching 60 minutes last night for the first time in years. I did not watch all of it, but it was the most bizzarre piece of television I have ever seen in my life. Liam Bartlett used to work for GWN, a local TV network in Bunbury. He now looks like he has had a million facelifts. Anyway, that is not the reason why it was wierd. Now I cannot remember why it was wierd. That is probably because I ate a chocolate crackle after dinner last night. Oh well.

Anyway, back to my organising life and its pressures and stresses. I said last night that all these little stresses are getting to me more than when I was going through exams. Firstly, this seems never ending - there is no exam over that gives you relief. Secondly, you cannot focus hard core on these things and there is no going in when you are organising travelling. Unfortunately social activities require socialising. And on top of that is watching the Grand Plan in action and unfolding before my eyes. I said this would happen and it now is. I am leaving Melbourne and returning to WA. wow.

Lastly, here is an interesting blog and now that I have found it, I will have to download the podcasts. The Post-Modern Geek's Guide to Sex
Here also is some interesting porn I found. Veg Porn: titillating tofu eaters. Nice.
And here is two vibrator pics, just cos I can. Please note marketing strategies in image and product creation. What kind of associations are these products making you create?

Next weekend I am going to Sexpo. Context being what it is, I cannot help but maintaining the phrase in my head, "my sexpo nightmare". Those of you in the know, who also traversed the basketball court and greenhouse TV room, lived through disco table tennis and the dance off, as well as the hand slut and vomiting in the neighbours front pavement, will know what I am talking about. I did not coin the phrase, Gim did.

$5 films at Nova

One of my favourite things in the whole world is watching a film in the morning. Yesterday I watched Who Killed the Electric Car at 10.40am. It was an odd kind of doco, as if the doco maker had been given information they did not know what to do with. The format was a bit all over the shop, but when it settled down there was definitely something punchy to say. Channeled many of the recent new wave of feature docos in Bowling for Columbine etc and The Corporation in particular. Good though, I enjoyed it. The website is here. It is interesting who the corporate sponsors are on this film and makes me wonder why. Perhaps some more research and enquiry is needed for this one.

The other film I saw yesterday was Suburban Mayhem. What a great Australian crime flick! Again I expected cringe worthy stereotypes and found awesomeness - particularly in Katrina, who reminds me of my sister Claire around the same age. After I realised that the cringe was going to come from the fact that I identified with Katrina and the town, I waited for the poor second act turn and dismal ending, but it was also not forthcoming. Great tone, great style, EXCELLENT timing and brilliant casting. Not genius, but a great movie. Well researched characters and plot. Thanks Alice, you have made it good again! Actually I do have a criticism - the POV changes - most of the film is doco footage, but then we get to see stuff the doco footage doesn't. I wonder if the film could have been just as good without the mock doc in it. There was a lot of exposition in the interviews as well as some great character building and one liners. Suppose it doesn't matter too much really. Go see it. And if you have not seen Kenny, then make sure you do. Suburban Mayhem website here. Kenny website here.

vote clem...the movie

This is over 8 minutes long. How many thousands of dollars does this format save Clem? I wonder who he identifies as his demographic? Is this what YouTube is for? By the way, this is Liberal Party propaganda for the coming state election.

The party is over

The party event occurred, everything went well, approx half my friends turn up, which is expected (it was the best half that came), my brother tried to verbally joust with me and lost quite badly, so then he started kicking me (not his best quality). I did drink - beer - and that is OK. I also ate some rocky road and some chocolate crackles - so what are ya gonna do eh - nothing is good for you at parties. I did want to tell a boy I had a crush on him, but he was a bit inebriated and then so was I. Just wanted to tell him because I have never told anyone I have a crush on them before and I thought I wanted to experience what it feels like.

Talking about feelings, which I try not to do, I felt quite a lot like I had my head up my own arse on friday after I submitted the final assignment on friday. I made a decision about the content of one part of the assignment which went against a decision made by the actual author of the research and she told me off after I submitted it. I sent an email to the lecturer and informed her of the mistake, so it will be fine. However, this incident is unusual for me and it brought up similar feelings to the ones I had as a child when I got caught taking books out of the closed library (about 6 years old?). Why I am so arrogant that I feel I can make better decisions than other people is amazing to me. Another curious part of this incident is that my stars warned me that I would do something like this and I thought that it would never happen cos I am so aware of my actions. What a humbling lesson to learn.

Anyway, I am going to see two movies at Nova today to celebrate my new life of not having to do anything (well at least for 3 weeks till mum and Hannah get here). Today I can do whatever. I am also going to Dimmy's to get one of the perfumes I want. So now everyone knows what I am doing today, I hope everyone has a great day.

The End

So what does one do when they have finished exams, handed in the last assignment and eaten food at an appropriate time of the day (not really)? Listen to Billie Holiday, make chocolate crackles and throw out all the crap.

Exams are over

A moment of quiet reflection and thanks.

More Dawkins stuff. Forget that other British dude.

The book tour site

Last exam today

I have my last exam today. It is also Cup Day in Melbourne and right now it is looking pretty OK for cruelty to horses. I will be sitting outside the exam room when the race that stops a nation is running. I think I have only bet on this horse race twice in my life - firstly when I was about 12 and secondly when the Swedish contingent were excited about it and I thought I could join in. I am such a follower.

I have a story about my first gambling experience, which, upon reflection, is quite character revealling. I think I was quite young, before my father died, so about 9ish. I went with my mum, although there might have been another man there as well. (Actually I am not sure if it was before the parental death incident -but I do remember my mum being happy and this was not a usual occurance for many years after my father's death). Anyway, the point of the story is that mum asked me to choose a horse in a race and she would place a bet for me. I used to remember the exact details of this story for years and years, but now that I am 33, more years and years have passed and well, anyway, I think the horse's name had Rose in it. Anyway, mum placed a $2 bet and told me to give her the money. I was disturbed. My pocket money was mine to fritter away as I saw fit and to spend it on a chance seemed like a waste of my time. I did not understand anything about the thrill of the win or what gambling does to your body chemicals. I refused and tried to bargain about post-race divvies. Mum laughed and told me you have to pay first. I flat out refused. I had something like $18 of pocket money that day, which was around the year 1982 - so a lot of dosh. The horse won. Mum collected the winnings. I tried more post-race divvie splitting and she laughed at me. A lesson learnt that day. Well a couple. 1. People steal your ideas. 2. Gambling is a waste of time. Never understood the gambling thrill. Not then, not now. I did obsess about how much money I would have had if I had of said yes - that is why I held the memory for such a long time. I think I would have come home with $21 if I had of given mum two dollars. I vaguely remember regretting the decision, but I have never really learned to take a chance on something.

I often see the future of a decision far into time and ponder its far-reaching outcomes and establish a clear purpose and a clean conscience before I commit. My definitions of purpose and commitment mind you. My creation of the future as well. This is why I am going to WA and then after that I am going to Darwin and this is the only decision I can make right now. It also means that I can easily negate any chancey decision I think I might make. Such as coming back to Melbourne permanently - for any reason. I see the potential of resentment if I do not get to do the things that are important to me. Resentment towards anyone. I am not sure of the value of the scenerios for a return or the what the feelings mean - particuarly in that far future I puport to see. I am living in that future now - I have not even left Melbourne yet. What would make it OK for me to come back to Melbourne? Decisions with clear paths, or chances taken with the unknown? But those choices are fraught with problems - that I can see. Better off going to Darwin. I need to develop my independence and my confidence. I need to travel and explore. I want to come back to Melbourne, but not for a while. But I also know that I might change my mind and I might want to live somewhere else. Now if all decisions are made completely as a reaction to, and imbued with feelings and emotions, then these decisions I make are loaded. But are they the right ones?

Announcement

I have finally made it into the Google index. I decided to put my name on this blog last week cos everyone knows it is me and whatever I say can be held against me anyway. The people that don't know me could care less what my name is. Plus I wanted to be indexed by Google and have my name come up in a search. Ego. Plain and simple baby.

Warning: musings on my sex life below...

Ty Syndrome

I have been giving some thought recently to drunk sex and its consequences and how this has built upon itself, in an almost structuration like way and made me think in ever expanding circles of consequence and decided to call this social phenomenon the Ty Syndrome. I was recently told a story about a boy who had sex with a girl in a bathroom in his house one rampant booze and drug filled evening and has ever since tried to hide the fact that he slept with her at all. I fear that he may soon start killing witnesses. Anyway, it reminds me of the silly choices we make when we are drunk and how vunerabilities come to the surface more easily at this time. I have learned not to regret the choices made when drunk, although I have a feeling that they are simply more deeply buried. I just realised that this may very well be a gendered viewpoint. If it is, then we pull whatever threads from these thoughts how we will. Anyway, my point is that sleeping with someone you do not or would not want to sleep with ordinarily is a means to an end, for whatever reason; be it physical or emotional or whatever.

The one night stand is in fact one of my many joys in life. Regardless of drunkness or not, these fleeting sexual moments can be illuminating. The choice is seldom rational, yet some choice is made. This brings me to the crux (thankfully not the crotch - again) of Ty and Ty Syndrome. Periphery of friends. (This means nothing - I just wanted to say it - if I could do footnotes in this post I would, but I cannot so I will fill it with brackets containing useless information). The Ty Syndrome is when you sleep with someone in your acquaintance circle and its effect means a disruption to your social circle. For example, the Ty Syndrome means that I have lost a group of party friends (you know them - those bunch of louts you invite to all the parties cos they do the dumb things and/or do penis tricks - ahhhh I love them - others may disagree). Sleeping with someone who is removed from your circle of acquaintances is a far better scenerio, as it means that you can kick them out of your bed, house, life, without a second thought. The awkwardness of post-coital communications can be lessened in this way. However, within the circle, the awkardness threatens not only your own morning /afternoon joy, but continues on into an infinity of repercussions socially, both within the large circle as well as the small circle. I have never been allowed to forget the indiscretion with Ty, or both indiscretions, or that another friend of mine did him before me in one of the greatest stories ever told (the Tent Story). However, the other men I have had the pleasure of being with (even it it wasn't) have all been people I have gladly never seen again (except that one guy - maybe two - who I wish wasn't such a player/porn king - I wouldn't mind seeing them again. Actually there was that other guy as well on that really hot night last summer). The point is that I did not have to see them again and did not - the social consequences did not exist.

ps. Ty is not a bad bloke really. He is lovely, in a loutish kind of way. I am using his name and the situation(s) I found myself in with him as a generic. Plus it makes me laugh about it. I was already laughing about it cos it is bizarre and absurd that I ended up with him twice in my life, in similar circumstances and both being events that were nothing special really - actually a complete waste of my time and ended up costing me socially.
pps. one of the ironies of the Ty situation is that I am not really that upset about the loss of social captial, but its passing is something that I gave some attention to.

I need a holiday

Man do I want a drink today. Sipping on a red, feeling the vague nausea ease its way in, then that point, that beautiful point where you sigh and it all feels nice and your feet dont hurt from standing on them all day at work and the study you need to do is not worth doing and all the members in the group assignment can get fucked and then, and then, and then finally, oblivion.

Second exam done

Apparently exams are not fatal after all...

Giddens and Structuration is out of my life forever. I shouldn't say that - I have the distinct possibility of a PhD in my future life and I might need the theoretical framework. However, I have come across memes. OH YES, memes! Thanks Richard Dawkins (who is infinately cooler than Giddens although British as well [kinda] and in a different field of study - oh well, I can draw with any straw) who is the inventor of the word and its meaning.
Incidentally this photo of Mr Richard is absurdly weird. I wonder what it is supposed to be saying with the strange perspective created by roses. And there is the classical kind of background. He looks like a fetishist.






Anyway, this book is not by Mr Dawkins, it is by Susan Blackmore and it is called The Meme Machine. I am in love with this book! Incidentally, Susan probably stole this idea from one of her PhD students which is memetics in action so it makes it ok. Anyway, a quote:
"The thesis of this book is that what makes us different is our ability to imitate".
Genius!
Susan is a bit kooky and I reckon she rocks. You can check her out here.

Daily horoscope for gemini

You can be a bit scattered today...